I'm in shock, found out he has pursued OW, help

[angel61]

CTflor, you asked me if I used any of the DB techniques.

I did, but like you, I had such a difficult time because i was, and am co-dependent on my H, and he with me.

TI was riding the coaster so hard with him.

But the only thing really that has helped me get through was to detach somehow, although I always backslide, but that was the only way to get through each day.

My H actually was quite self-aware, just like yours.

All I can say, from my experience, is that you have to be strong, don't show him your tears.

MLC spouses think differently. Even just watching what they do, looking at them when they are on the phone or computer is "control".

That longing for freedom is such an illogical ache in their brains. Everything we say is an attck on them, is a meddling, is control.

I think if you read my threads, and the advice from the vets, you might glean somethings.

But I myself just recently backslid hugely, mainly because of D12, and to think I have been doing this for a year now.

Hang in there, it will get better, trust me.