She's doing a good job of dropping the rope, and he appears to be falling over. Give him a chance to show you what he is going to do - just keep your expectations LOW. And don't offer much - let HIM do the talking.
At every opportunity, her H has chosen to pick a fight with her and deflect his problems onto her and make them her fault. She's too soon into this happening so emotions are running high on his part.
He will take the opportunity to "vent" and have her take the blame. The best way to not be a target is to not be available.
She has more than enough time to meet with him after things have calmed down a bit.
Just my .02.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Well, not terrible. Can't say we got anywhere with it, but we actually had a nice time.
He told me he was afraid of losing me, even tearing up over it. He said he just needs to take baby steps with us, and he isn't ready to jump right back in yet. There was no arguing and we got along great, staying to talk after dinner for a couple of hours.
He still denies there is an OW. I just don't buy it, especially since he now claims to have sold the tickets (to someone I can't verify that with) and he is still going on an outing that day where he can't be reached.
Am I being reasonable in that assumption? Yesterday he claimed to have posed that scenario to his C, who said I was wrong and that I was ticked because my H didn't surprise me how I wanted him to do it. Wow. He also says the C told him we have irreconcilable differences. Another shocker, I thought counselors weren't supposed to say things like that?
Feeling worn out today. Got other bad news that upset me as well (unrelated), so its turning into a craptastic week.
ROMB, I am glad you at least had a nice time with your H. '
I think it's reasonable for you not to buy there is no OW. There may be, may not be - just don't focus on that. Continue to work on yourself and let that be your focus.
Originally Posted By: realormakebeliev
He also says the C told him we have irreconcilable differences.
So in talking to H about D's schedule, he tells me he wants us all to do something on Sunday as a family. Normally I would think this was a good thing, but I am struggling with what I think may happen on Saturday with the tickets.
I am trying really hard to focus on my D and I, and I am already making plans for tomorrow but AAARRGGGGHHHH!!! How do I act like it doesn't bother me on Sunday when I feel like I was punched in the stomach??? I know I should completely ignore the event, but knowing it and doing it are two different things.
I'm going back to church on Sunday, praying for support on this....
ROMB, I know it hard to ignore the event, and you know what the right thing to do is. I think you will just have to be in "fake it until you make it" mode on Sunday.
I am glad to hear you are going back to church on Sunday.
Today I'm going to take D to a movie and lunch. Not sure what I'm going to do after that, but I need to come up with something- today will be a big GALing day!
On a side/venting note- I think the 'event' started early...nothing from H after yesterday afternoon, even after he told me he would text me last night after he met a friend of his (I didn't ask him to do this, he volunteered). I keep throwing up that stop sign in my head, but it is very hard to ignore the ugly pictures that keep popping up.
Lord, please get me through this day!!!
PS just had to delete some of what I wrote because I just hated how it sounded (like a pity-party for one)...need to change my attitude!
Still kicking. Had an OK day, I did do what I intended with D, but found my mind wandering to what H was/is doing. I guess that's par for the course.
I am worried about my D, she really seems to be showing signs of stress with this drama. She told me today she missed her daddy, and I try to minimize it telling her she will see him soon. Her eating habits have changed, she is acting out more and has outbursts of anger she has never had before. Today in the car she asked me if I was sad.... I want to cry just thinking about it, a 3 year old shouldn't be worried if her mommy is sad.
The truth of the matter is that he sees her as long as it doesn't interfere with what he wants to do, and when he does he always has to have someone with him- family members, etc. Why can't he spend some time with her alone?? She shouldn't have to always 'share' him.
*sigh* tomorrow will be a better day, if I keep telling myself that, it will happen...
