Hi CD, sounds to me like you need some 180s. And from what I've learned here and from personal experience, trying to convince your W that it wasn't all bad is counterproductive. She's got to figure that out for herself.
Have you read all of the book? Sounds like you're not adhering to all of the principals. I'm sure some of the veterans around here can help more than I can, but I think you need to validate when she rants, and definitely avoid arguing. My H does the same thing about rewriting history, and it seems to be a common thread.
I can never remember exactly how it goes, but there is something in the book that says don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do... remember that, it'll help.
