and when I said nag, criticize, I just posted the "usuals", not bc I thought they were true.
but when h worked late for the money or the accolades, I recall feeling that he was being selfish for choosing the admiration of colleagues over the admiration of his family.
I didn't want to welcome him home with open arms b/c I felt he didn't "deserve" that...and if we were all happy when he returned home, that he'd take advantage and do it MORE rather than less...that I was "right" to be angry...denying my anger would be "wrong"...
and as rational as I believed that to be at the time, for YEARS, it never occurred to me that I should change my approach b/c
1) it wasn't working; and
2) being warm and loving might make h WANT to come home more, not less.
I brilliantly carried on that way, until h had left and only then, with DBing and some space, did I see what a proud fool I had been.
I think you learned that lesson earlier than me. And you know what, it's done.
your h did a lot of blaming and criticizing... and he's gone for now.
and that, is that.
back to YOU and YOUR NEW LIFE. I think your insights are going to be fruitful. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
