Regretful and not sure how to proceed

[25yearsmlc]

as hard as it is Mary, take a step back.

She thinks she wants her freedom. You cannot control that. Relinquish the illusion you have of being able to make a difference to her plans, at this moment in time.

Your ONLY focus now must be on s4 and YOUR GAL/Changes...

Let HER go but have her leave s4 with you. Yes, you heard me. Keep him.
If she has legal rights over yours, well, crap. make sure that's true.

If she does get s4 physically, make the most of your time with him. And don't assume he'll immediately take to OW or that she will, to him...

You cannot stop your w, but you do not have to help her leave.

She is taking a trip but didn't invite you. She thinks she's in love. Accept that she believes this.

You cannot convince her or argue with her that she IS happy but doesn't know it

nor can you argue that she SHOULD BE happy w/you, b/c she thinks she's not (so she's not.)

All you can do is protect yourself/s4 and let her begin her journey that much faster

without you making it worse or longer. Make sense?

We don't know the exact words to say to make things better OR the things to do...we often only know what will likely make it worse. Avoid those.


Pleading and arguing usually make it worse, and never make it better.

Hold your head high Mary, let her go and find out that the grass is greener where it gets the most water.

in TIME, she will miss you.

No way that OW has all your good traits but no flaws you lack?
Sorry, but that's not realistic.

Let her leave with memories of you NOT pleading or begging,

but looking and being your best. A changing evolving mary...

Mary-who knows she will indeed be a great partner for her next one. Whether it's w or not...

I hope that issue (s4) doesn't turn into any kind of battle. Don't you dare surrender him in a way that ever makes him feel you gave up on him...fight for him.

PLease do what you can to Make sure he knows when he's a grown man, that you fought to have him with you as much as you could. I think it's so important.

Mary, this was actually expected...and makes sense.

MEANING, she wants to be with ow. Now the fantasy can end, and she can get to know the real OW...

and the fantasy can begin to end...IN TIME. So meanwhile, what will you do?

YOU will be growing as much as you can, as fast as you can, more GAL and pushing your comfort zones...ever enlarging them...and ever enlarging your resources internally and externally...

You do not need her. You love her, to be sure. But you do not NEED her.

Please get this. You deserve to be happy.