E, This seems like it may be the major shakeup your H needed. Who knows? This may be exactly what needed to happen for your M to get to a place better than it's ever been and better than it could be had this debacle never had happened.I don't blame you at all, though, for not being willing to trust him. He is going to have to work pretty hard at earning your trust back.
I think both your S & D are processing all of this in their own way. I think what happens over the next few days and week will really tell how their holding up. There's a lot of trauma right now. I really feel for your S because I have one of my own.
I hope you're holding up OK, too. I think it's only going to get better from here. I hope the OW fades out the picture soon.
More BIG HUGS. ((((()))))
We're behind you here. I'm thinking about you and keeping you and your family in my prayers.
OW 
