been gone so long couldn't find my thread! lol!

[AJM]

So just to clarify, my M is over, dead. And I am not saying that has anything to do with getting a divorce. a piece of paper doesn't mean a M is dead. It took me a long time to realize that things would never be the same. If there is to be a Mr. & Mrs. TAMF then it would be a totally new relationship.

I agree. Couldn't agree more. What is at stake here are your feelings and your future relationship, isn't it? I can't think why you would go back to the M you had.

Is it ok for you to see other people? That is your choice and it is neither good nor bad to make it if you ask me. Your life is your life and your choices are your choices.

I don't think you are a hypocrite and the thought never crossed my mind. So I, too am sorry you felt this way at the words written. They were not intended to convey that thought at all.

I do however, think that you may not be done with the H. Divorce or not. Pain or not. I suspect that there is a part of you that is struggling. Wondering why you have to go through this introspection now...

I was trying to point out both sides, but certainly not blame nor pass judgement.

I recognized retaliation in your posts. I recognized anger. I see those things in myself and I see them in your posts. By pointing out the various sides, I wanted to try and help...frame things in an objective manner. Perhaps that is not what you need, but it seemed like it at the time. Maybe that will come later.

I honestly think that your anger is justified. I think it is your honest emotion and H should see that. I do NOT think that holding back is the right way to do things.

A little secret? I personally prefer to hear the truth vs. being lied to. I abhor being lied to by anyone. Pain from the truth is preferred to not feeling the pain and being lied to. You can feel those things even if we sometimes choose to ignore that we are being lied to, right?

In the end, your decision is your decision and you are the one that has to live with that decision. The same one you didn't ask for. Still is what is...

Be at peace that regardless of what you do, it will be right for you.

AJ