Separated - high sex drive - what is OK?

[25yearsmlc]

Please put a helmet on. I don't mean to punish you for honesty b/c it's brave. But it's also mandatory if your situation is to improve....so let's look at this...

[quote=calidad]Thanks. Good points. I really did ignore her. Slowly at first but increasingly for 5 years. To the point where she was very very alone.

She had post partum (that can be a very big deal)

and I didn't see through all the screaming and verbal abuse how alone and how much pain she was in - so I put her on anti-depressants and continued ignoring her (I didn't realize I was doing it)

Just so I'm clear, what does this mean? Are you an MD who prescribed anti-depressants for his wife and didn't address the underlying reasons for them? NOT bashing you, just wanting clarity. .


She started complaining about all the child care duties and housework

You make it sound unreasonable of her "complaining" but to be clear, isn't it because she was doing all or most of it AND working too? And had given birth AND had post partum??

so I started taking on more and more of that as a way to make up for my financial failures. She also lent money to my business which is now gone along with both our credit scores.

So you DID help more around the house? But your business went under and hurt hers too? Okay. Anything else?

I am guilty of hurting her deeply and extremely remorseful. [/quote]


Let's accept those words at face value and say you really are aware of the fact you hurt her deeply. AND

Let's say you really are "extremely remorseful."

I never saw any of that in your posts.

I just saw your anger and victimhood feelings.

Neither of which helps you. And neither of which reflects your remorse or awareness of what you did to create this situation. You simply posted about how you wanted to know if YOU could have a sexual online affair...

I'm betting, she feels you pushed her into the arms of OM.

and you concede SHE has been "very very lonely... for 5 years..."

you have been lonely for what, a few months?

And you are Already lining up your plan of attack and how you'll avenge yourself if her affair gets physical

by leaving her AND the kids...Or issuing ultimatums...Good grief!

You have not read the div busting books, have you?

PLEASE DO SO ASAP!


The real question is, what type of personal work are you doing?

Until this post, all I saw was the opposite.

So, what are YOU doing NOW to show her that YOU are different ?