Hey Tam

I am just catching up here.

A lot going on.

I went through something similiar a few months back. I had to see my W and I was struggling...

Really struggling with standing any longer. I told myself she couldn't change...too much...

I just wanted to be happy and not have to think about the fear I had about whether we could ever be good together.

About what she had to do. What flaming hoops she had to jump through to show me a new person.

One I could trust.

I got angry and more angry at her. My compassion and all I had worked these long months toward was at serious risk.

Ask these folks here. They saw a different truegritter. I became defiant and defensive.

I said blah, blah, blah...

I heard blah, blah, blah...

I understand TAM.

Loving someone is hard. I mean REALLY hard.

When you explore what that really means for you. There is only one answer.

The one that heals all the pain. For you and for him.

But God it is hard to do that. It is the f@cking hardest thing you will ever do in your life.

But it is also the best thing you can do for yourself and your H.

To surrender.

To put down your weapons and your shield and just surrender to it.

What would happen if you did that?

I am not talking about your M.

You.

What would happen for you?

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am