That's your biggest problem. Control your impulses.
"I'm not what she wants me to be."
What the heck is that supposed to mean? I didn't see anywhere in your posts about her demanding anything unreasonable from you. She just wants a secure, mature male who can see to her emotional needs. Are you saying you can't be that?
Stop with the imagining that you know what she wants. You're not her, so you don't "know". In fact, she doesn't even know. Stick with the plan and stay consistent in your actions. Mature, calm and in control.
Deal with your anxiety first and stop blaming yourself. Just because you didn't see to her needs in the past doesn't mean you can't meet them now. You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
