thank you. Yes, I get it. Pathetic I suppose. It is sooo hard to shake that "we weren't worth it" to him mentality. It is like the meanest, messed up person doesn't even like ME! How uncomprehendable. To me anyway. Like I said in the past-it is the irony of him leaving us! I didn't want to give up. I know it could have been salvagable. That I think is why I waited so long and I do love him. Not who he is now but who I thought I was married to. The countdown is nearing an end. He has just a little over two weeks to respond. Haven't heard a word.
Throw that word pathetic out. It's not pathetic. I've been there and to me, it is part of the process. You had a committed relationship with a man you deeply loved. In my case it wasn't with a man, but the idea is the same When they suddenly pull a crazy Ivan on you, what are you supposed to do? Answer: grieve. The loss of a trusted companion, best friend, lover, father, and husband. To have it replaced by some...thing that looks, talks, and sometimes sounds like H is maddening. Like a story from a Steven King novel or the Twighlight Zone.
What exactly are you supposed to do?
I know for me, I at one point started to believe some of X's spew. It took a TREMENDOUS amount of effort and quite a bit of time to figure it out.
Know why? Because she knew me soooooo well. She knew how to push buttons. Still does know some of them. They are becomming fewer, but that takes time to work through them.
The other thing is that they try to keep hold while pushing you away. Couldn't say why, but it is what they seem to do.
Get started closing those button doors now though. There's a test later....
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
