Telemark, I am glad you were doing better today. That's it - ride this wave as long as it lasts. Unfortunately, it's probably going to be like this for awhile. Wave after wave after wave. Just remember - patience, patience, and more patience. Let your W run her circus and see what ultimately happens.
This morning was the first morning since March 8 that I did not think of my W as soon as I woke up; I'll take that as a positive step.
I'm forcing myself to think of anything else other than my W or my dying M. It's a minute-to-minute effort.
She is coming to the house tomorrow afternoon to take dog #3 and hopefully more of her things. I was considering being there when she arrives, but on second thought, it will be better to have no contact at all. The last time I saw her - 3 weeks ago - it was extremely difficult and depressing. I don't need more of that.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
This morning was the first morning since March 8 that I did not think of my W as soon as I woke up; I'll take that as a positive step.
I'm forcing myself to think of anything else other than my W or my dying M. It's a minute-to-minute effort.
She is coming to the house tomorrow afternoon to take dog #3 and hopefully more of her things. I was considering being there when she arrives, but on second thought, it will be better to have no contact at all. The last time I saw her - 3 weeks ago - it was extremely difficult and depressing. I don't need more of that.
That IS a positive step, TM. One day at a time.... With regard to being there when your wife comes to get the dog and (maybe) her things...do what is best for YOU. If seeing her will make you feel sad and take a step back instead of forward in your journey to healing, then have plans to do something that brings you joy during that time. Is she taking the dogs to live with her full-time at her condo or is this just for a visit? I hope you aren't losing all your canine companions. I know how important your "hounds" are to you. I feel the same way about my pets, and was grateful that my H agreed it was best for them to stay at our home with me (and for most of the time) the kids. That was a custody battle he wasn't willing to take on. Do you have any fun plans for the weekend? Playing any music? Get to see your daughter? I hope whatever is on your agenda brings you happiness and makes you smile. I am sure you are also counting down the days until you see your son again. October is literally just around the corner.
I'll probably stay at the office until she leaves the house, which will be around 3:15.
She's taking 1 dog (guess I didn't make that clear in my previous post) to live with her permanently. He's a good dog-a little jumpy; but taking care of 3, especially when I am not home a lot, is hard on me and on them. The other 2 are older and can stand longer periods of solitude.
This weekend is a gig at the Ephrata Public Library on Saturday, then I am going to visit my old church in Lancaster on Sunday. I'll be a gym rat on both days, and I do have plenty of house projects to tackle.
Yes, I am counting the days (42) until I see my son; made the flight reservations for my daughter and me yesterday.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
