Cali...I feel for you. I've been dealing with the same thing. My W has been all over the board mostly because she's scared about our D proceedings.
I'm no expert but I can tell you when my W and I finally talked about things and I have given her space, her angered levels plummeted. At least for now .
I don't know if there's a magic bullet but you may need to get away from each other for a while.
Hang in there man....It is very tough to be hated. Love yourself.
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