New to the forum.

[Lonely in SLC]

I can really use some help right now.

I can't sleep. It feels like I am back to square one when I first thought I found out about the XW's A (EA or PA, don't know). The wound feels fresh and new again. I believed her.

I believe she wanted a quick divorce so that her conscience would allow her to date this security guard. I believe she did not want to be unfaithful while married, so divorced me to see him. I am sure this is her justification. But why can she not be honest?

I have not cried like this for awhile. I don't know why, we are divorced now. I now feel so stupid for believing her lies. I feel gullible, how can a trust anyone again? I am angry with myself. I still feel shamed that I could not keep my wife happy, that she had to find happiness with someone else. That she literally ran away as fast as she could.

I can really use the help right now. Just for someone to say things will get better. That I am worthy to be loved. That I should not loose faith in humanity. That I am not worthless, because I sure feel this way now.

I liked the numbness and fog better. It might not bee happiness, but it sure beats the pain. How much longer?