Got an apology from XH. Need advice now.

[AntoniaB]

Q of S my father always prided himself on two things: "I never cheated on your mother" and "I never laid a hand on her or you kids." But his silence/anger/resentment was plenty tough to handle, and still is.

I used to wish my parents would divorce so my mom could have a better life. To this day he holds himself as better than my XH by far because he never cheated. So 40plus years of emotional abuse is ok?

Frankly I faced far less pain overall with my XH. I had an amazing marriage for a long, long time. My mom probably never had that at all and never will.

I'm sorry for what you faced. My XH was told in therapy that children of alcoholics are often very anxious as adults because they are forced to be perfectionists, and this really has a toll on them when they are older as they beat themselves up for not hitting the mark, and they set their own marks too high because of the expectations placed on them.