..OK, get ready for this, I am not kidding. She has said it would be a turn on if I don't pressure her for sex...
My wife said the same thing. So one of my 180's was to tell her that I would not initiate sex with her. As with you she just felt everything was fine for several months.
I then told my wife that I needed to be touched frequently to feel loved and that she was not touching me (See Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight and Chapman's 5 LL). She said she would touch me but that it would only lead to my pestering her for sex. I called her on that and told her that no matter what she did or wanted that I would not have sex with her for 3 months to allow her to learn how to touch me in complete safety.
During that 3+ months she really didn't do much in the way of touching me like I wanted, but she learned how to provide me with physcial signs of affection much like a sister or friend would provide to another human being. During that time I also worked hard on trying to make my w feel loved in her Languages of Love and I threw myself into a GAL that resulted in my W's friends telling her how handsome I was and how lucky she was to have me.
All of that helped set the stage for our sex therapy sessions and her deciding that if she didn't change the way she treated me I would ultimately divorce her and she wanted to remain married, which meant that she and I needed to have an active sex life. She finally came to that realization. It wasn't easy and she still has a lot of self image and intimacy issues, but I am much happier and we are still married.
Good luck to you. I have been there.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
