Hey, DC, sorry for all the crap you have had to put up with lately.
By not returning her every call and text, you are showing her you are standing by what you say, whether she likes it or not. This panicky calling and texting she is doing may be because she is mixed up, torn between you, because of your history together, and the changes she has seen in you, and the om, who may or may not really want her over the long term.
It would be my guess, if om stopped taking her calls, she would be panic calling and texting him, too.
Now she knows you know way more than she thought you did, and can't lie about that anymore. So, just take care of what you say to her parents or other family. You explained the other situation to them, so no need to tell them the other stuff you found out.
I know you love having your kids, but when it is her time, and she suddenly wants you to take them when it is for a purely social reason, let her find a sitter for them, maybe her parents, even.
You do need to think about you, now, and just focus on yourself and those kids.
