You're getting mixed messages because your W is confused, probably just as confused as you are. You *both* need to work on yourselves before working on your R.
How did you feel when she told you that you were so negative? Did it sting? If it did, that might be something you want to explore about yourself. Those words that sting often show some truth in them.
One thing that I don't think has sunk in yet for you (and it's very common) is that *time* is your biggest asset right now. Most of us are guilty of wanting to speed up the process, take shortcuts and assume the first positive action we see is the beginning of the end. It's not. I don't want to freak you out, but look at my signature... Yes, it's been over a year of up, down, loop de loop and more for me. I'm finally (mostly) in a good place in my life and I'm seeing potential for the *beginnings* of the first steps of R with my W. Your timeline may vary, but I guarantee it will be longer than you think.
Do your best to pull yourself together, don't try to fix everything at once, and remember that small but consistent changes are the ones that will get noticed.
Me 43 W 38 M 5 T 7 SD20 S15, S13 with 1st W ILYBNILWY June 2010 Separation/Bomb July 2010 Divorce Feb 8, 2011
