I dont want to pressure her or make her feel pressure. We are at a very critical point..atleast I think so. She has told me that she is considering a Marriage Counselor. Which is something I have asked for since the begining, however she was against. Said she was to angry and hurt, had no interest in saving this marriage.
Off the subject some but.......
I am feel like I am trying very hard to prove to her that I can be trusted again and things are so fragile between us at this point. My anxiety has really been building up this last week pr so and not really sure why. I have worried that she is waiting for the holidays to come and go before she boots me. She hasn't really said anything to make me think that, just how my brain works. Deep down I am very worried, I am trying to make this work and still let things go at her pace. I know that nothing can happen (be it good or bad) until she wants it to happen. I
I can't even trust my own feelings right now. I dont know what is positive or negative now. Example: in her words were "some days I think I want to make this marriage work, other days I don't". I want this to be a positive statment and compared to where were a few months ago her words have changed. But, is it positive? I am losing my mind it seems. Sorry about the rambling everything just spilled out of me. So hope it makes sense.
