I've thought about taking my ring off...but the fact of the matter is, I am still committed to her and the marriage and she knows it, and I'm very wary of doing things just to show her something or make her think something...particularly if it isn't true. If she reaches the point where she reverts to saying she's done, rather than "I don't know", the ring of course will come off just as hers has. Right now though, she's acknowledged she's dealing with bigger things within herself (severe, almost life-long codependency) that have affected our marriage, and she's asked for a certain amount of time (undetermined as it may be) to try to get a handle on that without having to come to a decision about "us" yet. I know it is very important to her for her to be able to feel like she's working on her, at her own pace, and for now I'm willing to wait that out. I don't know for how long I'll be willing to do that...but for now, one day at a time, our marriage and family is still worth it to me, hard as it may be to do. So while I sometimes vacillate over ring on/ring off, the part of me that keeps it on do so because of the aforementioned commitment that she and I both know I still have, and because I don't want to do anything that isn't a genuine expression of how I feel or that might be perceived by her as an attempt by me to send her a message or try to speed up her process.
But I don't know...that's the confusing thing...I can see some merits in both continuing to wear it and in deciding to take it off.
H: 41 W: 35 M: 9 years T: 10 years S: 9 D: 7 ILYBINILWY & "I want a divorce": 6/22/2011 Piecing: 10/2011 Still going strong as of 4/2013
