mish, the less someone is invested in a R, the easier is for him/her to walk out if the circumstances allow it. That's something I read and I find it very correct. And investement in an R, the way I see it, is being involved in all aspects of the common life. For years I used to take on the weight so my H could work and build his career. But that excluded him from things he should be involved and would get joy and pride of. I didnt realise. After what has happened, I am very careful not to deprive him the "joy" of being a part of every problem and solution. And he feels better in his skin, I can see that.
It's about time you stop assumptions based on the past. You have the knowledge and must be realistic regarding expectations but at the same time allow room for Gabe to change. Think about it and start little changes in the way you engage him into everyday problems and issues. Finances of the family arent your resposnibility only. Dont be selfish! ... Love K
