Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

So after you fall down, you get up again... And that is what I did.

Yesterday I exercised, spent quality time with my girls and really worked on getting negative thoughts out of my mind, using the Stop sign visual. My mood improved and I was not so down on myself.

H was online - I wished him luck with his board meeting (short hello and 1-liner). He thanked me and said he would stop by in the evening to help with a feeding for the baby so I could sleep a couple of hrs. I accepted the offer, thanked him graciously and then I ended the convo first.

When he arrived, we were both polite (although no hugging or kissing hello, which is something we usually do). He said for his birthday on thursday he wanted to go have lunch with the kids, but might need to cancel, or move it because he has a meeting. I calmly told him that it was ok and to let me know when he figured his plans out. (OW is arriving that afternoon to spent 4 days with him...) He then grabbed the paper and pretty much ignored the couple of comments I made. He also brought his cell phone with him (we have had arguments about it, because he ofter texts with OW in my presence). Although yesterday he was playing sudoku. I did not let any of this trigger me. I remembered to be more silent and wait for him to talk. He didn't. So I finished watching my show, said good night politely and went to my room to take a nap. He stayed for the feeding and had left by the time I woke up.

Today I also exercised, spent quality time with the kids, paid some bills and worked on a list of things I need to do. H had asked me to look for family fun center options for his BD lunch with the kids on Thursday so I came up with a couple of them. Took the girls to their first swimming lesson in the afternoon and then BBQd hamburgers. H arrived and said hi to girls but didn't acknowledge me (I was in the kitchen). 5 minutes later, I finally said hi to him (i admit my tone was a little sarcastic. It's just that some days I am just so tired of him showing up unannounced, letting me feed him dinner and having him ignore me in my own house...)

He asked how long I napped the night before. I responded 2 hrs. - he questioned it a couple of times (he tends to question the accuracy of my statements A LOT). I finally said - sorry - I guess I just don't remember it accurately. He asked what was wrong and I told him I felt like he was scolding me. He then did a 180 himself - instead of arguing he said "can we start over?" I said yes with a smile and said hello again.

We had a pleasant family dinner and his favorite dessert. Then bedtime routine started. My best friend called. Usually, I let all calls go to voicemail when H is in the house. Today I answered and went to the other room to talk to my friend for 30 minutes.

When done, we sang songs to girls. It's part of the bedtime routine, but when he is in a bad mood, he either does it alone or if I do it, he'll leave the room. Tonight he stayed - the girls love it when we both sing together. After that, he stayed for about 30 minutes. He talked about work and I listened carefully, making eye contact and validating his opinions. He then got up to leave and said he had to clean the house cause he has not done it in a long time. (OW will arrive on Thu and stay there for 4 days). I didn't let it trigger me and said nothing. I thanked him for diffusing the situation earlier in the evening. He leaned and gave me a nice, warm hug and left.

So overall, I feel like I had a decent comeback after a horrendous weekend. Now I need to STAY consistent and most importantly, stay positive. I realize how self-defeating my thoughts and emotions can be...

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated.