In the eye of my storm

[LITB]

You weren't doing to win her back

True LITB?

I was doing it for a variety of reasons. The main one, this birthday was a big deal to her. Despite where things are between her and I right now, she has brought much joy to my life(and much pain, however I have grown from it). She has been a blessing to me. That’s how I am looking at my situation with her at this time. I say “at this time”, because I may feel different tomorrow, the day after, next week, etc.

I was doing it as much for my children and I, as I was doing it for her.

I wanted my children to celebrate her birthday as a family. I wanted to get my W gifts from them, because there isn’t anyone else that can do it with the same meaning. Yes, I led them to something that I knew my W would like and had mentioned she wanted, however my daughter chose both necklaces. In my mind, it was special to my children that we shopped for mommy and we had dinner together. I was setting an example if you will.

For me, I did it as a way to say, “I love you” without saying it. As a way of saying thank you for helping me become the person that I am today. In addition to the items listed above, I did it because it felt like the right thing for me to do.

If this is the last thing that I do for her on a special occasion, I made it count.

Do I hope it helps me win her back? Of course, without a doubt. However, I would be foolish to think that she will be tripping over herself making her way back to me. As we like to say, “No Expectations”.

All I can hope for is that she can see what she is throwing away as I have been known to do “extreme” things for her. I know that I have been a really good husband to her and going through this experience has made me an even better person. If our M is to end, my life will still be great.

But given the sitch. Ever think about how much different the power of what we do is?

Absolutely. Sometimes I over-think what I do and how it will affect my W.

However, I am to the point (my awakening) where I am going to be true to myself. That is how I “won” her in the first place. If she is willing to work with me to create a better M/R, then that will be great. If not, it will be her loss. In the meantime, I will remain patient. Patient with her and patient with myself.

Given what she has done. A simple text of "happy birthday" may be huge.

You may very well be right. Less is more.

As JB said, my W’s birthday was an opportunity for me to mix things up. To get back to something that I know worked in our R.

Because. Her thoughts. On what is. May be different than yours.

They are different. Will they ever be the same?

Make sense?

I think my friend. I probably screwed it up. lol

I'm not saying this to make you regret what you did. Regret is useless.

No regrets. I’ve done worse. lol

Only to possibly see what is differently.

I appreciate it CS. You definitely made me think.