Do what I can but still have questions 4

[aeolianchaos]

Then he went in to "how his feelings don't matter" and "I do whatever I want anyway" and "no one cares how he feels". He went as far to claim that I "don't give a crap about anyone but myself".

Sounds like he's trying to get you to 'dance' and you're not letting it happen. Good for you. Most systemically meaningful changes in relationships require someone to take the first step (or non-step) and you are doing it.

You're standing up to your anxiety when you choose not to respond to his incitements. That's really big.