Alright everybody. I took a few days off to clear my head. I was/am afraid. I lashed out on some people...especially MrBond and I want to say that I'm sorry. My emotions got in the way of my actions and I blew it. I'm hoping we can all move past this.
I'm going to come around here every once in awhile, but not too much. I just feel that there are too many voices and I'm starting to overanalyze every move I make.
Just so you all know, my wife and I are talking again. She has decided to work on us again. She's not ready to be physical, to date, or even hang out that much. She said that she has been completely exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. She needs her space still. I understand this and am willing to give her as much space as she needs. I love this woman with all my heart and soul. I'm getting a second chance and I'm not going to take it lightly. It still hurts being away from her and having little face to face contact. That's pain I am willing to take. We both agree that if we jump back into this thing right away it will never work. We have talked about it and we both think that we can have a happier and stronger marriage, but the key is taking it slow...one day at a time.
I realize that I still have a lot of work to do on myself. Especially when it comes to dealing with my emotions. I like to think I have my emotions in check...I'm not so sure now. That's good though because I have another goal I can work on.
Oh yeah, I gave my wife my new number before we decided to work on things. For the record though, there is an emergency line that she can call that will be routed to my cell phone. It is a number she can reach me at if she needed too, without knowing my day to day number. I can call her (or the kids) from this line as well (from my cell) and it will not show my regular number on the ID. It actually goes much farther in depth than that...I'm an engineer and a geek. It's hard for me to explain techie stuff in terms that everyone can understand...and I was working on being less wordy. Thus the reason I did not describe in detail how I had everything set up. Just know I did have my bases covered and was not alienating myself from my kids. They mean more to me than anything else.
