All that said, the feelings of disgust I am having towards the thought of H touching me are deeply disturbing me though. I assuming they will pass in time...
It will pass in time, I promise, E. It was hard for me at first, too, not to let my mind go to some dark places when my husband and I were being intimate together. As suggested by MWD in her books...when your mind goes there, just imagine a huge red STOP sign. I assure you, this helps.
Hugs to you...you are doing great. Just keep taking things one day at a time.
