I understand the impulse - I did the same thing after finding out about the A. But I wonder if perhaps it isn't the best move in the long run? It puts us (the resolute spouse) in the position of relying upon the unfaithful spouse to basically soothe our anxieties. It kind of increases emotional fusion pressure. Not sure what to do though - because the anxiety level (for me at least) can get to be a bit much.
I guess this is where self-soothing could come in handy.
Oh, I wasn't asking for details to sooth my anxiety - quite the opposite, as I want to know exactly why and when it started, when he saw her, what they did together, the lies, the deception. All of the ugly details. More like anxiety inducing instead of soothing BUT I simply don't want any surprises (I'd rather hear it all from H) should emotionally unstable ex-ow try to contact me again. We're pretty certain she has perused my website recently so I'm sure she knows how to get in touch should the urge strike her again.
Originally Posted By: aeolianchaos
It's good that you are seeing a MC - do you know what modality they operate in?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Btw, I'm still trying to find the time to read your sitch, aeoli. As you can certainly and unfortunately understand, I've been a bit preoccupied, but it's the next one on my list. Also, I sent myself the link to that audio download you suggested earlier today and will download it tomorrow if I can find the time. Work has been slow but of course I got the call today so that will be a good distraction...
