OW called our house

[aeolianchaos]

I read that some spouses need to know details in order to process - that it depends on the person and how they deal with trauma

I understand the impulse - I did the same thing after finding out about the A. But I wonder if perhaps it isn't the best move in the long run? It puts us (the resolute spouse) in the position of relying upon the unfaithful spouse to basically soothe our anxieties. It kind of increases emotional fusion pressure. Not sure what to do though - because the anxiety level (for me at least) can get to be a bit much.

I guess this is where self-soothing could come in handy.

All that said, the feelings of disgust I am having towards the thought of H touching me are deeply disturbing me though. I assuming they will pass in time...

I think your feelings of disgust make a lot of sense under the circumstances. But, like most feelings, they will evolve and change as your perspective and thinking changes.

It's good that you are seeing a MC - do you know what modality they operate in?