Just checking in to say that I know exactly what you're going through. Although I must say, 4 kids is a monumental challenge for one parent to deal with (I only have 2).
How can these guys just walk away????
I assume your H does not contribute to the upkeep of the home - eg the cleaning, washing, gardening etc. Or have you found a way to get him to do this?
When I asked my H how I was supposed to do all the work associated with the household on my own (I also work full time), he suggested I just employ a cleaner and gardener. No thought at all about the fact that we can no longer cover the mortgage repayments on our house, nor the kids school fees, or pay off the credit-card debts that he's run up trying to keep his business going. He assured me that his time was too valuable to spend working around the house.
And yes, like you, I feel sick about the amount of money that he's spending on the separation (rent, 2nd car, take-out food, booze, etc).
Sort of helps me to know that others are in such similar situations, but on the other hand, the degree of similarity is eerie - just got to assume that what these guys are going through is indeed some sort of mental illness, I suppose.
Learning from you, too, not to say these things to him any more, but just to let it out on this forum. And apologies for the repetition that occurs!
