It's life, but not as I knew it (HOswald, part 3)

[25yearsmlc]

Hos,

IDK what state you are in , but since your w's legal argument appears to include emotional 'investments" that benefit you as a couple, so they = property to be divided, etc

then I guess you retain some % interest in her future earnings? I'd strongly recommend you push for that.

AND OR Alternatively argue that while you are grateful for all her support, you feel you repaid that by

1) returning the same "emotional support" for her explorations into the world of academia and

2) you were also actually, physically and financially supporting her and that was not reciprocated...perhaps you can deduct some of that from the gazillion$ worth of emotional support she gave you...

Math isn't a strength of mine but I think you have an argument in #1 above.

She can have a % of the assets...but the damn degrees ought to be counted as assets too.

My RN sister put her x h thru law school. Now he has a six figure income and she's at the same pay rate as she was before the m. She worked, full time, the entire 22 yr marriage AND had 3 kids.

Her h was periodically unemployed, Underemployed and didn't work at all while attending law school (I'm a L, and every married student in law school worked at least part time, as did I. Her xh was a wimpy lazy selfish man, and she loved him with all her heart)

So She got $150 a month in alimony for a year...I kid you not.

In contrast, my Younger sister never worked her 13 year marriage, had NO kids, and got 1/3 of her h's retirement for life...different states...

Bottom line is that a lot of these are plain UNFAIR...but I have to remind myself that when I think "unfair", then there is "Africa unfair" and I keep my perspective.

Try not to get bitter. In the scale of things, IF we were really to measure it,

She's got no real life job experience, (which is why even a PhD, left her without a job or anyone to hire her.)

You won't have that problem. So don't lose faith.

There are women out here in the world, who are great people with good souls, and likewise, good men too.


FWIW, my older sister who got so burned in her divorce but NEVER complained...is remarried.

She's genuinely happier now than she ever could have been with her first h. Her x was a taker; her new h (8 years now) is a giver.

Her xh did her a favor by leaving. I sort of knew that at the time, (hoped) but could not bring myself to tell my sister that.


Too much for her to hear. But I knew that someday she'd see the light. And she has.

Good luck