I wanted to leave you with this post….and I hope and pray that you really think about this.
When I say what I say to you, it's not because I read it in another thread or because I learned it from a book. No it is based on the hard…no very f*cking hard lessons that I experienced, lived , and breathed. The experiences that caused pain for many people involved.
Where you are is one of the hardest parts of the damn healing process. The feelings, the wanting, the urge to finally find out if you were really as horrible as he accused you of being. For me, was I really lucifer incarnated as she made me out to be. Someone once told me and it may not be a popular idea around here is ….that the only way to know for sure, is to experience the feelings, the urges, to live it. To have a real live crash test dummy i.e. a “rebound”.
What I can tell you after going down this path many, many times, is that no one deserves to EVER be a crash test dummy for relationship testing purposes. No one. Not YOU and NOT the OP involved. Not the current OP and not a future OP. Yet we do it so all of the time. Pain. That is the result of this. The pain the OP feels and the PAIN and GUILT YOU will feel when you really realize it….usually way too f*cking late.
TAMF, you are going to go through these emotions. Feeling everything around you and testing every avenue along the way. And what you are gonna find out in the end, is that although you are moving along fairly well, and remaining true to yourself, the person on the other side, giving these things back, is NOT the person you WANT giving them back to you. What you will find is that deep down inside YOU really want….no…wished…that your H was LIKE the OP and NOT vice versa.
Do you think that is fair to the OP? Do you think it is fair to TAMF? I can tell you it is NOT.
You keep saying you are done…..man I have been there done that. What I have learned…no…experienced is that being done doesn't mean you post it, tell everyone, scream it from the mountaintops. Nope it comes to you quietly. It happens over time. It happens when you look back and realize that you can look at the M, the old R, look at your H and feel differently.
Here is what I see right now…..your actions aren't too much different from his.
You are using anger toward him to push away from him, to help you get done. You are using the OP and those feeling to help you be done….not to different that what he did with slut whore.
Why do I say this…..cause you are threatening him with Divorce now. Not to different than what he was saying to you…..those days when he tried to tell you about how he felt toward slut whore.
So TAMF, I'm sorry, but my New York born and raised, swearing, metro, tutu wearing ass is calling BULLCHIT that you are done.
I have nothing else to say except……
You know the woman that I refer to….we’ll call her Miss G.
We both were really hurt by what happened. We both learned a lot about what happened, why it happened…..it was hard, very hard. Do we regret it? I do not. What I do regret is the pain that we caused each other. You can ask her yourself.
Think about this TAMF….think about this.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
