been gone so long couldn't find my thread! lol!

[ericmsant2]

TAMF,

Do you want truth and honesty or do you want me to blow smoke up your butt and tell you what you want to hear?

Actually, I’ll make that choice…you being my friend and all. I will preface what I say to you with a I want the best for YOU and YOUR girls.

How can I be completely done

Why the rush to be completely done? I think I know the reason and if you could take a step back, I think you do too. Take a step back, be honest with ourselves…man that is hard.. it is some really hard chit to do. It is sooooo easy to live the fantasy, so easy to say F this, sooo easy to listen to what everyone else has to say….sooo easy to blame SOMEONE ELSE for our lack of happiness. SO EASY to place our happiness in the hands of someone ELSE. Man it is easy. I have done it…too many time to count if ya want honesty – and I know that YOU KNOW this about me.

when he is constantly in my face, texting me, doing stuff around the house, with the girls all the time, saying he is sorry, saying he loves me, wanting to hug me everytime he sees me? Trying in everyway possible to "act" like he is wanting to get back together...

Who allows him in YOUR face, Who allows him to TEXT you, Who allows him to be at the house?

YOU DO…or rather did…or maybe still do.

YOU did because you were afraid to let him go…..afraid to stand up for yourself. FTR, I did the same thing TAMF….same f*cking thing.

You never set a boundary…and if you did…your broke them. Do you think he is going to respect you this way? Do you think that he will believe you when you say “enough”? Psst….wanna know why that boundary was not set, why the boundary was not followed? CAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU TELL ME, TELL THESE F*CKING BOARDS, TELL OTHER POSTERS, TELL YOURSELF……this I KNOW…..YOU LOVE THIS MAN! He is everything that you want…..at least a slightly improved version of the old H.

Take a step back for a second and think about the tall football, dark haired…man that he was and maybe still is.

I have sat by a fire with you and seen it in your eyes, I have sat and had dinner with and have seen it in your eyes, I have heard you cry, I have heard you talk about how much you love him, so if you wanna tell me that now, a mere two weeks or so after that I saw this, that you are now done….well I’ll call bullchit! And I call it with love in my heart towards you...cause I know you would do the same for me.


I know you well enough to know that YOU LOVE HIM…….LOVE HIM A LOT…

But what has prompted this….well for starters you are really pissed the f off. WHY?

and then he goes home to OW.

This is why ^^^^^^

Cause you think that SHE has something you do not.

You are tired of standing..

Tired of waiting for his as*

Tired of not getting your emotional needs met

Tired of not getting your physical needs met (and FTR, I just purchased Duracell stock….sorry had to interject a little humor here).

So you looked….You wanted to meet someone….f*ck you left the door wide open. I have done this same thing girl….I left mine open many, many, many, many times.

It is starting to piss me off.

What is pissing you off is that RIGHT NOW IMO, is the FEELING you probably FEEL that your H is in YOUR way. SO you blame him. You are putting all of the responsibility on HIM. Man have I done the same thing with my XW. It was her fault, it was all her, it was her crisis, it was the OM, it was the job, it was …..was….was……So guess what? I found someone to make it all better. Someone that understood me. Guess what? It is was no DIFFERENT that what my XW did to me. NONE…yeah, packaged a little different….but JUSTIFIED none the less.

He is working a train to minneapolis right now and I sent him a text that said we need to have a serious conversation when he gets home. We need to communicate. he said "SURE!"

SO HE HAS ALL THIS POWER OVER YOU….YOU need to wait for HIM…

And this wait…therein lies the rub…….wanna know why you are waiting? Cause deep down inside you want him to turn around and tell you that he loves you, he is breaking up with slut whore (you know that’s my nickname for her)….you want him back. I say this because when you are done….ya don’t give a hoot. When you are done, you really do not care about what he thinks. You’d pick up your phone, call your L and let her know to do x, y and z.

Sorry sweetie but you are not done by a long shot. You can tell me to F off (although I don’t think it is like you).

Because I can't handle this anymore. He needs to stop.

Don’t you mean that he needs to let you go so that you can go pursue an R with someone else? Cause that is what I think it is. I wanted the same…..chit…I felt in love….i felt that if only my XW would leave the house…then I can go start my life. Go be with someone who had done the “work”….had all of the emotional criteria I was looking for….was good in the sack….was kind….was an LBS….was everything I had been living and feeling. Oh…boy did I FEEL in love….OR SO I THOUGHT.

I have walked the path that you are on right now, I am different than you in many ways….but the similarity is amazing.

Stop for a second TAMF…..

It is hard….

Very…hard….

Even with everything I have posted up above ^^^^^….I will still as your friend support whatever it is you decide to do. Whatever.

Oh...and your "can't handle" comment - BULLCHIT! You are one of the strongest women I know. If you wanna make excuses for yourself go right ahead....but I know you are stronger and better than this.

Letting go and living your life is very different than "done".

Gotta go

God Bless
Eric