How is it really hard? If you don't want to do it. Don't do it.
Maybe take a look at what drives you for sex.
If its purely biological, then you should be able to take care of that just fine on your own.
If its a question of being validated by another person - what kind of person is going to validate you for cheating on your spouse? how much value does that validation have for you?
Why do you need to violate your own integrity to seek that out?
Does that mean other people count more than you do in terms of how you view yourself?
If seeing your Wife naked bothers you, tell her.
"W, when I see you naked I feel X (alienated, agitated, lonely, flustered.. you fill in the feeling) because I have a need for X (sexual expression, intimacy, connection, validation, companionship, belonging, security... again you fill in what your need is). Would you be willing to cover up more for the time being?"
M: 32 W: 29 T: 9 Years M: 4 Years I hit rock bottom: 2/11 PA admitted: 4/11 WAW: 5/11 D filed: 6/11 now: Patience, wisdom, and growth - hopefully.
