When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[MichelleLT]

Relationships are like a see-saw remember. The more of one thing one person does, the less the other does.

And they are never going to pick up the slack on their own because from their perspective it's just the division of labor. So, if you want him involved, you have to let him.

He says it'll work out because it always has in the past. And you do the worrying for the both of you, so he doesn't have to.

Step back, give him space to be involved, and ask. I love Julia's idea.

But if that doesn't work, you do need to figure out how much he is going to contribute every month. Your bills aren't as separate as you think. He's living there. That means the mortgage and utilities are his bills too, whether his name is on them or not.

Whether he pays you what he should be paying in child support or pays a set amount towards the mortgage and utilities, something needs to be "his."