Got an apology from XH. Need advice now.

[AntoniaB]

So I had an amazing GAL weekend with a long-time friend--we went out and got massages, had great dinners, drinks, stayed out partying till 2am, saw a great blues guitarist, flirted with a hot bartender, bought some shoes, and got our tarot cards read. Terrific weekend.

I posted on the alt that I got my "groove" back and wasn't letting it go again.

A few hours later, XH sends me an email about the retirement acct. A totally unnecessary email--it just says that the forms he was supposed to get in the mail came. Like, why do I care?

Then he also said that he hoped my yard wasn't a mess with all the rain lately and that I was enjoying my sabbatical and writing and ended with "work s*cks, as always." And yep, he sent this during his work hours from his room when OW can't catch him.

So I chose to reply with my now permanent cheery/optimistic self (far unlike my pessimistic self at the end of the marriage) and chatted briefly about how I had an awesome weekend, what I did, and how yeah, I had some yard work but I was doing great with it, and then said look, I'm sorry about your work problems...for me, in the midst of last year's nightmare, I chose to throw myself into my job and to make it better and that internal attitude change in myself really helped and now I can walk away from my job and be happy with it...but then I said "but of course, you have to forge your own path and decide how to fix this situation yourself..."

Essentially his intermittent emails sent for no real reason are giving me this chance to constantly SHINE as this person who overcame EVERYTHING to be happy without him. And this really is who I am, my changes are really "sticking", and I think my actions show it with all the stuff I've been doing in the past year that only now he's finding out about.

So in a way I almost feel like this might be his karma--I was concerned for a long time (and sometimes still am) that he will never "pay" for what he did to me. That he'll never get "his", that he gets to ride off in the sunset all happy. And at this point all I think is, "look, buddy. Look good and hard, at me, the one you LET GET AWAY." I'm now the person he always claimed he wanted me to be and he doesn't get version 2.0, new and improved...his loss, my gain :-)j

He keeps writing, I'll keep being me, the new and improved me. If he doesn't, well, that's his loss. I'm not losing sleep over it.