Grace, Love, Compassion, and Faith

[JustStunned]

Val, This will ramble a bit and I’ll use examples from my experience. This isn’t about me I cite examples to clarify what I am trying to say.

In 25’s sig line “Forgiveness: it's your way out of hell.” To me this says forgiveness is key, and learning to forgive yourself, and others for the wrongs is a process we must all eventually master to find peace.

Most of my life Mom has been trying to teach me a life lesson.

I have seen her wronged, anger and in some cases rage have flared, then the next day or so forgiveness. Her mantras have been, “life is too short to stay angry”, “they will pay for the hurt they have caused when they stand before God”, and “forgiving them takes away their ability to hurt me”.

That is not to say she has permitted herself to be wronged repeatedly. She doesn’t carry a grudge, she forgives, and she doesn’t forget. The ability to forgive begins within. You forgive yourself first, realizing your value, that you are worthy of forgiveness. We all are and so are they.

Relationships that were damaged can take a long time to heal. We learn in DR and here that the old relationship may not heal, that we need to think of this as building a new relationship. Regardless of the approach they both need patience, space and hope. There needs to be a genuine desire from all parties to work at it. Sometimes the desire just isn’t present or present at the same time. To pine while waiting for a relationship to heal isn’t healthy and IMO has a very low probability of success. So we GAL and move forward hoping for the day all parties wish to heal the relationship. Confidence and strength are much healthier and attractive than indecision and wasting away.

There was a rift between Mom and who her remaining living brother was. It was big enough for my cousins and me to grow up without ever really knowing each other. My cousin R is five year older than I. I have vague childhood memories of him. I have much better memories of him from the last 15 years.

They healed the rift when they were ready. My Uncle made the first overture expressing concern about a tornado touchdown. He was concerned about Mom’s safety. He was motivated by stories of devastation. Healing took several years, and they became siblings again before he past. Point being they both needed to be ready to forgive themselves.

September 11 is a watershed moment for many it has been burned into the national conscience. It is recent. It is poignant to me also. There are other moments reminding us life is too short for grudges. My father lit a candle and reflected on September 15. I do so on October 23.

I will not tell you what to do with FB. You are in control of what you use it for and what you post there. I will ask is it good for you? Does it forward you?

Currently I use FB for two reasons. There is a small group of friends I connect with. I never thought I would use the evil scourge of the earth for anything this constructive. I also use FB as a window to display “I am still standing here, strong, resolute, my honor and principals intact”. I do not care if she see’s it or what she thinks of it if she does. I post for the extended family, the nieces, nephews and my children, to see how to handle a gut check blow and its aftermath.