Regarding "going dark".... It's especially tough to do in situations where young children are involved and you have to have daily contact with your spouse. What I did in my situation (and I have 4 young kids and have to be in contact several times a day to coordinate extracurricular activities, homework, etc) is that I only made contact when it was absolutely necessary, and I limited our conversations to the matter at hand. Otherwise, I had nothing to do with my H and acted very "business only" with him...no coming in and visiting with me while waiting on the kids, no discussing our day, work, etc. I wasn't rude, but I was detached. I agree NTX doesn't need to go completely dark, but going dim wouldn't hurt. His wife needs to wonder what he's up to and have a chance to miss him.
