One thing I do plan to keep doing is to try and stay above this. One of the things I am most proud of through this is not becoming nasty towards her. This has made ME feel good. And I realize, is only for me, and D, and I will continue to do so even though the thought of R is no longer on my radar.
This has actually been my biggest 180 through all of this. One of my big problems was being extremely sarcastic. For her I know. She saw it as very hurtful. That I said things to intentionally hurt her.
In some ways she was right. I think at times. I really did get a kick out of taking a jab. I don't really know why now TBH. I guess I just thought it was funny. I know many of times as well. My comments were not designed to hurt her. But, she made it clear early in S that these hurt her more than I ever knew.
So for me...It has been something to work on. And I do feel better as a result of it.
So....with that said. I will post our short text convo from yesterday. Hopefully. I continued to show this. I hope so.
Me: So how far along are you?
Her: I'm due in the beginning of February.
Me: Does is wife and daughter know?
Her: Not yet, but they will soon.
Me: Is his daughter still cross country?
Her: Yah
Me: Wow. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I will see you tomorrow. Peace.
Her: Yah, thanks. See you tomorrow.
These were just some questions I had. I felt no fear in asking them. I do feel OK in wanting some answers. For me....to understand.
So....on we go....
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
