I also agree with LP, that the first part of that list "regarding D" is definitely not a good idea.
That said, I still think that one casual R talk is NOT going to be the nail in the coffin of the M or push your W to D, but you have to do what feels right for you, jb.
Looking back and from what H has shared, I realized that the things I said that actually got through were the things I said when I stopped being afraid of D, and when I stopped worrying that every little word was going to lead down that path. Yet, I never begged or pleaded or tried to convince.
I don't know, maybe my H is not the typical WAS but he said what helped build our emotional connection was to hear how much I realized that I valued marriage and commitment -- not neccesarily our M but just M in general and how when I shared what I learned that he realized he was attracted to my depth.
But that was right for me.
And you need to do what is right for you.
You're one of my favourite posters on this board and if I could wave a magic wand and put your M back together, I would do it. Because you deserve it. Your S deserves it. Even your W deserves it (even though I want to scream and at her and tell her to wake up!)
