Finally getting caught up on your thread. I got so wrapped up in my own this weekend I didn't have a chance to get over here. I know it's redundant but you really are the #1 GAL'er/DB'er I know. You're doing so much right...continue to go down that path.
With respect to your D list...it's funny because I can see what you're doing but I also know that's EXACTLY how I think. Basically, we want to be able to convey how wrong it is for US, the LBS.
The fact of the matter is our WAW's don't CARE how it is for us...at least right now. So every time we talk about how it's impacting us it feeds their rationalization of us being selfish, etc.
Your M list is great. Stick with the stuff you can change and stuff you know is about YOU. When we focus on the WAS we remove our power to impact things. They use it as fuel to say "he's blaming me for xyz but he forgets when he did xyz himself!" Your self realizations are great. Explore them more. What can you do (or have you already done) so that you'll never slip back into those same unloving patterns? You may not be able to tell your WAS now (or ever?) but at least you can analyze them for your own advancement. I've actually toyed with the idea of writing down some of my personal revelations in an email account and saving them as drafts with the hopes that one day maybe my W will want to discuss things with me and I'll have a point of reference of things I realize about myself. It's my hope that one day I can actually get some confirmations as to whether or not I'm on track with my thinking about things that my W was impacted by via my actions and/or things that she NEEDS for our M to be successful, for her to trust me, etc. My W has done the same thing as yours...told me she sees the changes in me BUT...
Now...as I said...I can give the advice all day...but if I could only find a way to take my own. LOL. Keep pressing on jb. You're doing wonderfully sir and continue to be an inspiration for me and many others.
Try listening to this song. It gives me comfort (and brings me to tears often but the good, holy kind ).
).
