as Yoda would say....the force is strong in you...

[ericmsant2]

Thank you everyone for you well wishes and prayers.

For those of you not in the know…

I am now legally divorced.

I feel good, I really do.

The remaining legal issues were resolved and I would say that both of us walked away with what we wanted (as much as that is possible). I wanted the kiddies, she wanted money, which I think she feels is security. I get it.

I have the kids legally now every Wed, Thur, Friday and every other Saturday (although more often than not they will be with me all day Saturday and/or spend Saturday night with me).

She will receive 10 years worth of alimony payments, which I find a bit hard to swallow especially given that her alimony is more than what all three kids receive combined.

I will be okay though.....that much I know right in the core of my soul.

Some of the anger that I was carrying around seems to have been lifted and for that I thank God.

I am now focused on the following for me:

• Continuing to be a kick butt dad.
• Focus on improving the healthy boundaries with the kids. Yes my daughter is spoiled rotten and I need to start changing this asap.
• Focus on improving my R with my oldest, who still vacillate between being a distant son and an open communicative one (I have to keep reminding myself that he is going to be 18 in Dec and part of this is normal teenager behavior).
• Get myself to see a doctor and begin getting my butt back in the gym. I have put back on 15 of the damn there 70 lbs I lost in this process and FTR, I don’t want to lose my figure (he..he).
• Turning in my leased Jeep (I think people will hear me crying in Europe). I have made a little bet with myself that if next years bonus is good that I will take a few grand and purchase an old used Jeep (I NEED..yes I said NEED – LOL – my jeep in the summer). Also getting a few repairs done to my new truck.
• Focus on knocking down my debt profile, which by my estimates, would be almost zero in 2 years (assuming I get similar bonuses that I have received the past few years).
• Heal – I really want to give my body and emotions a break. It was a long two years. Yet 2 years that in a weird way I am grateful for. I would not be the me of today if it were not for this nightmare.
• Continue to work on the things about myself that I need to work on. Although, I do acknowledge that this takes time so I am not PUSHING myself to the point of no sleep, etc. Nah..just let God and nature take over.
• Learning the best way to interact with XW. For me, I have put up some serious walls/boundaries, that I will follow to the T. At this point, I need to minimize the amount of exposure that I have with XW so that I can continue to heal and get rid of the remaining pieces of anger that I still feel. I also really do not have a desire in the least to interact with her on any level.
- Plan the next Live little Friday (cause the one I planned turned to chit)...thoughts bounced around were Vegas.
• Get the career back on track and
• Finally, begin to post a little more…..I will always be grateful for these boards and the men and women who gave of themselves to help me become what I am today, which is a NY born and raised, tutu wearing, swearing, compassionate metro, dorky Puerto Rican (LMAO).

God Bless,
Eric