Hi, Wretched. Thanks for stopping by my thread. I'm sorry that your situation leads you here, but I assure you that you will find great advice and support on the boards. Our situations do have some similarities, so I hope I can offer you a little help as well as hope.
We have had very little R talk this time around (we've been doing this dance for 3 years now, and I've done all the WRONG things). In the past, when my H would show interest in reconciling and start coming back around, I always tried to fast forward things, and that backfired on me every time. This time, we have agreed to put the divorce proceedings on hold and seek joint counseling, but that is pretty much all the talking we have done on the matter. I have a goal date in mind that I would like him to move back home by, but I don't mention this to him at all. Just taking things day by day is working very well for us. He does tell me he loves me and that he misses me when he isn't here, so I take that as good signs.
Some suggested reads to you (in addition to MWD's remarkable books): "Journey from Abandonment to Healing" (this book jumpstarted my ability to emotionally detach. I can't recommend it enough) as well as "The 5 Love Languages" and "Choosing Forgiveness".
Baby steps are best at this point; when you feel him backing off, just give him some space and let him get his alone time. Take things day by day, keep your anger and sadness in check and enjoy the times that you spend together as a family.
Best wishes to you, and I'll be checking in on you! lc4
