My faith gives me the courage to move forward

[25yearsmlc]

Rys-

Filing is obviously not where you are at, and it is NEVER the DB advice, because the consequence can be final. It is the AFTER the Last Resort Technique.

DB does not have a "never file" rule. Then you wrote here ^^^ that "it is the 'AFTER' the last resort technique'" so I don't actually know what you are saying here.

But this is NOT a site that says to save all marriages OR at all costs...


I find you have made small progress over the years, but your posters are always worried for you.

Where is the small progress? Where is any? (I'm being sincere) I posted to her 4 years ago and see virtually no movement.

In fact, it's worse now b/c it has been so long that he's been living openly with OW that their son knows and stays there, and works with his father. The money situation and her financial security has been VERY damaged and his college funds are in question and her h even asked about her life insurance money...there are numerous other red flags. I don't know if rysmom can work to support herself. She never has before. She needs to protect herself.

Also, Rysmom often mentions her own health problems. They are not getting better. I have no idea what her health insurance situation is like but her financial situation is precarious.

She is still in school and I don't know what she can earn, if anything, as she has referred to being disabled in the past -but is vague when asked direct questions.

I abhor it when people enable her to delay doing ANYTHING to change her situation...sorry if that sounds dogmatic. I don't mean it to be.

But I've followed this sitch and poster for 4 years, literally. And to see someone else walk in and misquote DBing, and then confuse someone like her, a woman grasping for straws to help avoid reality and stay stuck...bothers me.

Plus, I honestly believe IF THERE IS A CHANCE to recon with this man, it's by her doing something (anything) that makes him fear losing her.

I don't know if it will work. No guarantees. Never are.

But what I DO KNOW is that her present and past approach of either judgementally lashing out, or lapping up his table scraps, have both failed.

And she's almost constantly living in a state of fear or panic...very sad situation to me. If her L's all say that only by filing can she garner any security (and imo, mental and emotional health) then so be it.

Who knows? It might even wake him up.


What is YOUR GOAL? What do YOU think is the best thing for you to do to bring you closer to your goal?

sg