What do you want from this site if you have "already tried everything"?
I mean, are you asking for permission to cheat or divorce? I can't give that to you.
I can say that if all the things you have written here are an accurate and fair representation of the facts,
you're in a sad sitch. I do think your w needs help and I do think the sex you did have, wasn't very good for her, obviously. So neither of you have been with others?
Even without an orgasm (and regardless of the article you read, "most women" don't have them "most" of the time from intercourse alone. But Few women have never had one from any source.)
Past sex abuse? It's over used as an excuse for present day problems. I mean get help and fix this if so. It's crucial and unique to a marriage.
I don't really buy the past abuse excuse or she'd be pushing it more, so much as past baggage about sex in general, and present day lack of interest. Tell her to talk to a priest or pastor...
Of the species in our world,
Only human females seem to climax, and if that's not a sign from God that this is a beautiful unitive feature, not merely procreative, I don't know what is.
Bottom line is this--is this a dealbreaker for you?
IF SO, TELL HER SOON or she won't be able to get help in time to change your mind.
As for "refusing" to have intercourse or any other intimacy, what is it she expects you to do or feel about that? How does she "refuse"? Are you being clear and persistent or does she "resent" that too? How does she express this?
(SIDENOTE---If you have given your w "hundreds" of back massages without it leading anywhere, EVER,
I'm struck by that. I CANNOT get a massage that lasts more than 4 minutes (max) without it either going somewhere, or ending...)
Tell her how much this hurts you b/c it is a daily dose of rejection. It affects how you see yourself as a man and you don't want to spend the rest of your life untouched in areas of your body only she can touch.
IOW, you are not "allowed" to go elsewhere for this type of touch, and she's not filling the need-sooo
what is it she expects you to do with that? Repress eternally?
Has she said it's okay for you to have an affair?
Keep going to a sex t for YOU, for now...
and tell us what it is you need from this site.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016