Treading water - time and patience

[NYCPeter]

Journaling - Generally a quiet week, I had a couple of late work nights and barely saw my W, when I did it was pleasant and we ate or wached TV together.

W has been making extra effort to be more tactile which is great, I have been enjoying it.

Then Saturday night - as usual W went to work and I spent the afternoon and evening with the girls, we watched a movie together and I put them to bed around 9:00.

I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at 3:30am - W not home, I resisted the temptation to call or text (I knew she was out with friends from work) - at 4:30am I am outside in the back yard having a cigarette (I couldn't sleep), W comes home and immediately came outside apologising for the hour - she was with a GF who was having problems with her M and then drove her home. She kept apologising and I made no big deal out of it, my only comment was - "I would rather spend time with someone who did not want to hang out in a bar until 4:30am, and it's her decision if that's what she wants to do".

She said - "It's not what I want" and then asked if I was coming to bed - I said "I'm not sure why that matters" (we've not slept in the same bed for 4 months) - she said "no to bed with me", I said "is it because you came home so late and it bothers me, or because you want me to" - her response "both".

She went to bed and I followed 5 mins later - we spooned, but nothing else happened.

Man it felt good to sleep in the same bed as my W - a step in the right direction and I have no intention of moving back to the spare room any time soon.