What a sad story. When the woman's H said, "Give me more time and I will be back", he was being incredibly selfish. He wanted his W at home waiting on him to return, which she did. I think these cowards say that because they aren't sure if the new R will work out so they want the back-up (Wife) waiting in the wings, just in case.
Back to your sitch .. I suspected that you had support from your in-laws which is why your H won't bring OW around. Although, don't be surprised if later down the road the in-laws become more receptive to the OW. I've seen it happen many times -- they are initially against the affair but later are forced to accept it if they want to keep their son/brother in their lives. It hurts either way - whether they accept the OW from the start or accept her later.
My sitch .. H had two sons from his first marriage and one son from ours. The OW was several years younger than any of his own kids!!
He has very limited contact with his two sons from his first M. The younger son won't even call him "Dad" anymore but calls him by his first name. He has lost all respect for him.
My son has not seen H since 2006 and doesn't want to. H hurt our grandkids and my son can't forgive him for that. I'm not sure I can forgive him that sin either. Hurting me is one thing .. hurting innocent little kids is another.
Case in point .. My grandson was just 3 when H left. I was watching him one day and he kept running to the door to see if "Papa" was home. After he asked me about 100 times to call Papa, I finally did and told him that he needed to come to the house and see gs. H showed up about a half hour later and only stayed a few minutes, he didn't spend much time with gs at all. After H left, gs ran to me with tears in his eyes and said, "Papa just see me a tiny while". It broke my heart.
H told me recently that before he left that day, gs wrapped his arms and legs tight around H and asked him not to go. H said that the memory of that day haunts him. As well it should.
