25years, thanks for clarifying that. It truly put it in a different perspective. I keep reading in the db material that i must change...or become like ow. Maybe i took it too literal. I prefer to be myself, with improvements that are me.
Tamph, thank you...this gives me hope. I keep finding myself hit with overwhelming sadness and crying most of the night. Not crying in front of h.
Chaos, once again you hit the nail on the head. You pose a lot of questions i need to think about. Not letting go of him, but the emotional enmeshment. I have built my life around him the past decade. At one point i think our emotions ran very deeply together. Now, my run deep and he is trying to extricate himself. I hate this, i know its true. There is a co dependency that developed. I can say it in my mind what i must do, but in my heart...
Letting go of letting him hurt me.... Powerful stuff
You are exactly right... I keep saying this is not happening, dont want to believe it, or revelation about other woman. Anxiety builds, reality slams into me and the waves of pain start hitting me in the gut. I can barely eat since i found out about ow. I try and food tastes bad. I usually enjoy food..and have a healthy appetite. I guess this is normal.
Really, i just feel like im trapped in a nightmare and i want out.
I sit here wondering....if he wants to go so bad, wants to be free as he keeps telling me...why is he still here willing to go to mc?
Thank you all....from my heart, i truly appreciate you.
