I'm a bit at a loss. The more I read about MLC, the more I find my situation hopeless.....
My wife doesn't like her job. She knows she can't support herself without making money. She's not happy with her marriage, but she can quit that just fine. Ugh!
Everything points to the LBS not being able to fully understand what the MLC spouse is experiencing. I'm trying too hard to find logic in the irrational, but I can't help it. I want to know more.
For every good day she gives me, I have 6 bad days with her. I really can't do anything right! I've been such a non-confrontational person all my life that she gets P.O.'ed when I don't make a decision - such as if I want peperoni or sausage pizza. If I say I'll just eat what the kids will eat she snaps at me to just make a decision. Now that sounds easy enough, but if I make a decision she makes me feel like I'm causing her an inconvenience.
I want to say I'm not walking on eggshells, but I'm not sure I believe that anymore. I spend more time sitting in my room when I'm home just so I can be away from her and she can do as she pleases. Sounds like she's controlling me, but I'm not seeing it. Just cuz she goes out with whatever friend is avaialble that day and I don't doesn't mean I'm not comfortable with me. I'm already up till 1AM 5 nights a week doing school work. A social life beyond what small one I have only takes more time away that I don't have.
I keep getting this GAL thing. I get it. I just don't need it as a distraction from the pain. I don't have pain much. Nor anger. I'm even happy when she doesn't come home, because I feel relieved I don't have to be the focus of her poop slinging. Something just doesn't seem right when I escape to my room or go to work and sit there for a few hours doing school work just to make it look like I'm doing something different. My wife has several similarities to the MLC spouses I read about, but something doesn't seem right in actions I'm taking.
I'm happy all the time when she's around - which annoys her. I don't bother her with anything unless it's about the kids and I don't question anything she does. I've stressed my displeasure about some things over the course of the last year+ that we've been living like this and that pissed her off. I've professed my love using my voice and various other media I've shown her acts of love, kindness, and thoughtfulness I've altered my habits to be more helpful around the house
Everything pisses her off. Everything I do is an assault on her existence. I just don't understand it.
Someone must have recommended anti-depressants because she came out of nowhere, without me ever even mentioning meds, and said she would not take them because she can't live with the thought of having to take them for the rest of her life. How on earth do people not see logic at some point?!
