We had a good heart to heart Friday. Being more open and honest is good. I ended up feeling unfamiliar feelings . Not good feelings as I am facing what I need to change in the way I treat and react to him. I know what that is. However, sometimes he perceives me reacting/acting in ways that are so off the mark. That scares me. Examples: a)I roll over and fall asleep as he is putting his arm around me and he says I was pretending to sleep. Huh? b)One Father's Day gift he thought was "thoughtless" on my part and it hurt his feelings.
He also confuses me. He has started liking birds and has some feeders outside our window. I found a guy who makes beautiful handmade bird houses. He had three styles and because they are very expensive, I chose one and thought I'd get the others in time. Well, several months ago he told me that the bird house was more for me than for him. He was saying that I am not conscientious enough when I gift give. NOW he says he loves the birdhouse because I got it for him. I told him I was confused and thought he didn't like it. Then he admits that he only said that to hurt me. WTF? Anyway, I said that those kinds of head games have no place in a marriage and especially in one that needs rebuilding. Those games need to end. Is he really that primitive? His A certainly was very budding adolescent in nature. I see that we need to level the playing field. He has always been envious of my career and ease at making money. We are enjoying a nice life, yet he wants to cut me down. It's something from his childhood. Not to be too psychologically minded, but this one has to get figured out.
Hey, J3B....you bravely posted your story on someone's thread. I read it, thank you. I don't know where it is.
MZ
Hi MZ, how are you doing now?
Our partners (or friends or anyone else) cannot be inside our heads, so they cannot really know the intentions of all of our actions. Nor can we really know THEIR intentions, so checking in about them can help. Even MORE effectively, we know by the responses (ACTIONS) that follow our actions.
Have you had a chance to listen to the KLA download?
What are your personal strengths, achievements, hobbies, -- things YOU DO with confidence?
I hope you're having a good weekend.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
