I don't really know where my H is in the process of the MLC. I have read about the stages, but I can't figure out from the description where he is. It also seems from what I read on the board, that it should not matter to me where he is and I should not spend my time and energy thinking about it. Please correct me if I am wrong.
As far a putting the book away, thats ok but you should start to practice what it says, now with or without husband. Deluca breaks down pursuit and distance to so many different traits, that you can 180, and being a pursurer or a distancer is not so simple as I am a pursuer or I am a distancer. Everyone is both but in different traits. Re-read that section again, it has helped me a lot.
Now as far as stages goes. In my first post to you I said that he is likely in replay. I will stick by that assertion, anything under 2-3 years post BD is more than likely replay. MLC'ers can go through different stages and still be in ESCAPE and AVOID mode. So the advice to not worry about it is good. Keep your EXPECTATIONS at zero.
There is a poster here named "Wonka" who went through her own MLC. She dropped the bomb during withdrawal stage. She describes it in some of her posts. 10 months post BD she started to come out of her crisis. But it was too late and her partner had moved on.
So your advice to yourself above about not spending your time and effort on it, is good.
